It’s all cycle-logical.  T-minus 13 days to launch.  Part 6: Close encounters...

‘Did I apologise to him afterwards?  Of course…we’re cyclists not footballers’ – Vincenzo Nibali, post who-threw-that-waterbottle-gate, 2015 Tour de France.

Length of shadow related to stupidity of wakeup

You know you've picked a good evening when you can chase one of these

Cambridge: obligatory 'Bicycles must not be placed against this building' placing bicycles against building shot

This could be a professional garment; pleasing mass of sponsors.  Great job from the persons responsible.

Universal truths this week: i) waterproof overshoes aren’t; ii) breathable gloves are more likely to suffocate…; iii) a rubbing tyre will wear down even metal surprisingly quickly, back to the drawing-board & iv) the oiliness of a chain is directly proportional to the desire of a little boy to grab it and then rub it on his clothes when you turn your back for a milli-second.

Quick calculation.  Recent training ride of 5hr30mn at an average 90RPM is 29,700 revolutions per knee.  It's a sore point.

Dear friendly chap up top, turn the thermostat down and send some more of that watery stuff while you're at it, we'll take all you can give us.  When consulting my cycling guru & friend Steve about preparing for this escapade he said to me & I quote: 'Glasgow?  November?  Easy, just find your nearest swimming pool, throw the bike in, jump in after it fully clothed and flail about til the lifeguard fishes you out.'

I did say the high pressure couldn't last, definitely a bit of wet weather appreciation this week.  PhD in stating the obvious.  Call it a damp-run for wet weather gear.  In name only.  My waterproof cycling jacket has a design flaw: the tail isn't long enough so your money gets damp.  That's not a euphemism, I really mean it.  The guy at the petrol station looked at the soggy banknote like I'd demanded he empty the till for me pronto: 'It's wet!'….'Yes mate, it's raining, all of me is wet'.  Cue cliched joke about money laundering...  It's a classic film so I've got to crowbar a reference in somewhere, but there's a line in the Shawshank Redemption about the only good money in a prison budget being spent on more bars, more guns & more guards.  We have a similar position going into late October: the only good money is more gore-tex, more lights & more reflectors.  

I had a slightly less productive encounter as well this week.  It gave me a brief glimpse of a post-apocalyptic, war-torn state where pedestrians as well as motorists persecuted renegade cyclists.  Rolling slowly down the high street (an open one-way road) two ladies with a pushchair stepped out in front of me without even looking.  Naturally, I make no noise so I'm not there.  We've all seen this movie.  One of them caught me finally in the corner of an eye and jumped.  'Hi, I'm still here even if you don't look' I snapped, to which she replied equally snappily: '**** off'.  Hilarious.  I was just waiting for the lecture on road tax too.  Naturally, if this happens in broad daylight and I have right of way but the pushchair goes over, it's my fault right?

Deferring to the French, I'm told they have an expression: l'esprit d'escaliers (spirit of the stairs) that refers to all the clever things you should have said in an argument after you've stormed out of the room.  I've never had this confirmed but just imagine how useful.  There were shades of this in play here I'll admit.  Final jokey tribute on this subject.  They say if you don't like someone, you should walk one hundred miles in their shoes; at the end of which, you're one hundred miles away from them...and you have their shoes.  Kudos Spike Milligan for this one; I like passing on a good gag but you have to admit they're an eclectic mix and I do always quote my sources.

Final stimulus this week, a recent cinema trip to see The Program.  That would be the completely true, good vs evil struggle to conceal/uncover the Armstrong doping scandal.  Is whistle-blowing in a cycling context known as bell-ringing?  A gripping battle from mountaintop to courtroom.  Having read the book ‘Seven Deadly Sins’, journalist David Walsh is an absolute hero, not that I dislike his adversary either.  His courage and faith in the face of deceit; remarkable.  Fetch that man an MBE.

One fortnight to go & we are about to lose the clocks so owl mode on.  Bring me that start line.